What’s This Thing I Heard Today?

by Greg Jackson

What’s this thing I heard today?
That folk send saucy snaps? As their bodies sway –
they just click away and share with gals and chaps
And I also didn’t realise
That they’re posted from their phone
Well, why not use in a Jiffy-bag to deliver them to their home?

I imagine though – if you went to Boots
For your pics to be processed
You wouldn’t want the staff to see
You – in your old string-vest
And if by chance, they copped a glance
Of you prancing in peephole gear
When you called to pick your pictures up
They’d be grinning ear-to-ear

And it could prevail – using Royal Mail
Some folk would be left red-faced
Because, oh – what terror – if delivered in error
You’d surely be disgraced
And if your given-name initial
Is the same one as your mum
What a shock she’d have at breakfast-time
When she saw your boyfriend’s bum!