What if the Answer Is Already Inside Us?

Occasionally, life sends a curveball of a tough decision our way, and we have to scramble and react before it hits us square in the face. We face choices that cannot be made with a flip of a coin or at random. Choices such as choosing a career, marrying a partner, finding the right therapist for your procrastination or depression symptoms, switching a university major, or a place to live can be terrifying. After all, we are supposed to live with them for our entire lives. Or for a long time, at least.

Allow us to blow your mind. You already know the answer. Yep, it’s that simple. In most situations, when you feel like you are suffering from impossible choices and searching for answers, they are already there. All we need to do is uncover them. 

The Noise vs. The Knowing

From the moment we’re old enough to ask questions, the world starts answering for us. Parents, teachers, older siblings, and other authority figures tell us what is good and what is bad. Although all children need to learn the world on their own, they are often given the pre-made truths that they don’t have time to analyse. There’s a reason for that, of course: we need adults to help us figure out whom to trust and what actions will keep us safe. Unfortunately, it isn’t limited to safety. 

Over time, we allow others to tell us what we need. Everything has a label written with a marker, “right” or “wrong,” which decides things for you before you even get time to think. It usually stems from our culture, religion, family, and the society in which we were raised. We learn what is right and wrong from social media, reading all sorts of websites (from useful ones like okmagazine.com to something questionable), and even the trends. 

Many people today admit that they often ignore their “intuitive” reactions and the first response, even though it seems to come from within them. For example, you receive a job offer. Something in the prospect doesn’t seem right for you, but you know that logically it should be something you should want. You second-guess yourself, ignore your inner voice, and go for what is socially acceptable. It’s what your parents/friends/partner would want, after all. 

Our mind can pretend that something isn’t happening, even fooling us, but our bodies can be harder to silence.

Beneath all of that, your inner voice waits for you to hear it. It hasn’t vanished; you just forgot how to listen. Starting to rebuild it is tough — probably more than anything you have done before. It means shedding the beliefs and thoughts that have become so familiar to you. Perhaps you’ll need to let go of something others taught you. However, being true to yourself is the best gift you can receive. 

Tools to Turn Your Inner Voice On

Imagine you’ve finally got a radio — your inner voice. You can let it speak, but it’s still stuck, and all you hear is static. Here are some tips that can make it work again.

Journaling

Getting into journaling isn’t always easy. Most of us, let’s be honest, start the process and abandon the journal with a few first pages filled. It can be a powerful practice that coaxes your inner voice out. It doesn’t mean you should write many pages or force yourself. Journaling works because it invites you to put other things aside and stay with yourself and an empty paper. Even a few minutes is a good start!

Here’s an example: You feel stuck in a relationship. As you write, you find yourself repeating the phrase “I feel small around them.” Suddenly, this phrase seems to have several meanings. Even if you aren’t ready at the moment, you can always return to it later.

Body Scans and Somatic Awareness

Our mind can pretend that something isn’t happening, even fooling us, but our bodies can be harder to silence. Have you noticed that sometimes, when you are in a challenging situation, you don’t seem to worry, but then, after the fact, you realise you have been gritting your teeth or curling your fists? Try to tune in to your body more often. 

For starters, you can practice a simple body scan. Pay close attention to yourself as you consider all your choices. Take a few breaths and scan each part of your body from bottom to top, noticing any tensions.

For instance, you’re debating a job offer. One option makes your chest feel tight and your heart run faster, not in a good way. The other brings a strange calm or makes your hands tingle with excitement. 

Speak Out Loud

When we speak to ourselves, we break that invisible barrier that often serves as a hidden filter between the real us and what we decide. Alone, when speaking to yourselves becomes a bit more comfortable, we can suddenly blurt out thoughts that we never even suspected existed. Speak into your phone’s voice recorder, talk to your pet, or pretend you’re explaining your situation to another version of you.

E.g. you are talking about that friend with whom you recently had an unpleasant discussion. As you talk to your cat, you suddenly say, “I think they pretend to be my friend. I feel they take advantage of me.”

Return to Nature

No, it’s not about camping. Just go for a walk in nature — preferably somewhere you can be alone and see the wilder type of greenery. Of course, this means you have to hide that screen and not put the earbuds on. Because you don’t have to rush or solve anything, you observe the world around you functioning as it has to, as is natural to it. 

For example, you are walking through the vast field and observe a few birds diving in the sky. After some time, you hear your inner voice asking, “Why am I trying to be someone else? They are who they are. I don’t want to become what others want me to be.”

You’ve Got the Compass Now

Although you cannot learn to hear yourself after reading just one article, you have started to acknowledge it, and it is the breaking point of your inner silence. You have always known what you needed, and now, you have the compass that will guide you. And that is the beginning leading to all the other discoveries.