Think there’s not a lot to be said about a bag of sand? Think again! These hilarious reviews for a seemingly innocuous product on B&Q’s website are fantastic. Number 1 is particularly creative!

6DIY Dude gets straight in, stating the obvious – no one will be getting in trouble under the Trade Descriptions Act…

It’s Sand!

It’s exactly as described: a bag of building sand. Conveniently sized bag, nice colour and made decent mortar. Happy to recommend!

5…and SandieSandman backs DIY Dude up on this fact…


Quite sandy, even for sand, it’s not very often that sand can take your breath away!

4You could say some were easily impressed…

See through bag, nice…

A bit sandy but still very nice sand! Done loads with it, safe.

3Suppy Do even found alternative uses for the bag. Obviously impressed, giving another generous five star review…

Used for many things

Great as a weight in the boot of my wife’s MX5, used in snowy weather

2Then things turn a bit sour. Yun12 giving only two stars for the disappointing sand…

Junk. Look Elsewhere.

If your use for this involves thin layers or render, then don’t bother. It is full of small stones. Have bought many times and ended up using in ballast, so it is not an issue with batches.

1But then, the pièce de résistance. Rusthater gets really creative with this spectacular verse…

Rusty Render – An Odious Ode by Rusthater

Reader oh imagine waves of pleasure
I rendered my wall on day of leisure
Glowing with a pale white gleam
Snowcrete and sand – a costly scheme
I stand back in the evening sun
Proud as punch – a job well done

But next day joy turns to dust
My render it is full of rust!
Among the alabaster layers
Specks of brown – aesthetic slayers
Rivulets of rusty streak
Oh what anger oh what pique!
Long I stamped, long I swore
My T shirt and my hair I tore
How to best articulate
My hate for iron particulate

So dear reader wary stand
Of B&Q bulk builders sand
As well as rock crushed in the mill
Iron filings may be in there still


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