Jean Morley, Felixstowe
Our chemist shop is a place to explore,
With wonderment you look at the shelves inside the door.
With pills and potions, and all sorts of lotions,
Then you forget what you’ve gone in there for.
There’s cotton wool in balls, in rolls and on sticks,
And lotion in bottles to get rid of your nits.
There’s things on the shelves you try to avoid,
And suppositories in case you have haemorrhoids.
There’s packets of three you pretend you’ve not seen,
And pills for constipation, in case you’ve not been.
There’s gloves made of rubber, that resembles a cow’s udder,
There’s cream for your face and your hands.
If you have wind there’s remedies to take,
But make sure you’re outside when the wind does break.
If you have a dribble, there’s pads to wear,
And brushes and combs for doing your hair.
For diabetics there’s sweets and jam,
And in winter you can buy a fake tan.
There’s pills on prescription, some of us get free,
And some of these pills can make you wee.
There’s shaving cream for men to use too,
With toilet rolls and smellies to go in the loo.
There’s remedies for colds, which you are spoilt for choice,
And pastilles to suck if you lose your voice.
There’s many things in bottles and phials,
There’s even cream to put on your piles.
There’s spray that makes your hair go stiff,
And deodorants for those underarm whiffs.
There’s cream to put on cuts and scratches,
If you’re trying not to smoke, there are nicotine patches.
There’s Complan, if you’ve not been very well,
And if you want to go spiky, you can get some hair gel.
At Christmas time there’s gifts to choose.
You can also get support stocking hose.
In winter there’s bottles to put in your bed,
And wheat bags to warm, to soothe your head.
I could go on for ever, but I know I must face,
I’ve forgotten what I came in for in the first place.
A bottle of tonic wine, that will do,
Well I am over forty, but you would never think so.
As it’s Christmas time, I’ll have a treat,
I’ll drink my wine and put up my feet.
And dream of all things that I have not
Tried in my local chemist shop.