Such Fun | Poetry

John Elliott, Whitworth

The season had for frolics and fun
The children rehearsed the costumes all done
Our teachers beside themselves excitement overflowing
How amazing this will be (you can see where this is going)!

Costumes arranged it’s now time to dress
It’s at this point plans collapse in a mess
The sound of tears makes the teacher feel weary
‘‘I don’t want to wear tights’’, is his cry, ‘’I’ll look a proper fairy’’.

‘’You’ll put them on’’, is the swift reply
‘’Wearing tights is not going to hurt,
In fact, if you think wearing tights is bad,
Just wait till you see the skirt!’’

The skirt had been added in a great deal of haste
When underpants had begun to show through
it was felt Minions and dragons were not quite the thing
So on went a tasteful tu-tu.

The angel’s turn next to create a new drama
‘’Please miss, I’ve only one wing’’
‘’I’m sure you’ll survive, just flap one side’’.
Replies Miss, roping shepherds with string.

At last they are ready to head for the stage
Lined up and toileted too.
However, another disaster occurs
We hear that the donkey has flu.

A heroine steps into his shoes (or his hooves)
And off we go for the show.
They all know the songs, dances are practiced
PHEW! Only half an hour to go.

Now, where there are shepherds there to be sheep
And this case was no exception
A lovely young flock to frolic around
They would surely get a great reception.

All cuddly and soft in their fluffy white onesies
They crawled round the stage chewing cud.
Unfortunately one’ sheep’s bottom burst out
I think he’d eaten more than he should!

The said sheep, it seems, the following eve
Had an over keen ewe in the flock
Who had seen the rear of a sheep in the fields
Her imagination unfortunately ran amock.

To everyone’s dismay, as they gambolled around
The stage, in their lovely white fur
An aroma pervaded the hall like a fog
And a brown bottom pranced passed in a blur!

I feel a rehearsal of rhythmic awareness
Could have livened the band, just a tad
Our pianist was struggling, should she follow them
Or continue with the music she had?

Impromptu ‘’Baa’s’’ from time to time
From an over-zealous sheep
And sudden thump of a star at the back
Tumbling from his bench fast asleep…

Added colour and character to the show
Parents almost wept with delight
I think it gives a whole new meaning to
‘’It’ll be alright on the night’’!!