Press 1

Press 1 for service and repairs
Press 2 for warranty work
Press 3 for account queries
Press 4 for a salesclerk

We’ll answer that one quickly
For refunds – please press 5
Our staff our very busy now
To get to you – we’ll strive

Press 6 if you’re having problems
With the gadget you just bought
Press 7 with force, if you’ve got remorse
And it isn’t what you thought

That one might take some time
To get an answer from our team
We’re working hard to help you
Press button 8 to scream

Press 9 if you’re still with us
And possess the will to live
If you’ve got to 10, well, maybe then
You’ll have picked up on the whiff

That we’re trying to avoid you
And what we want to say
Is – we’ve had you custom and your cash
Now please – just go away!