Liam’s Place

In Burnley town centre, nestled among the anonymous parade of chain-type coffee shops – you’ll discover one with a difference, one that stands out above the rest, and just like its namesake, Liam’s Place is a café bubbling over with warmth, colour and vibrancy, allserved up with a side order of love…

I first met Tricia Neville 12 years ago, when she was caring for sister Jennie who had terminal cancer. I was writing a piece on Pendleside Hospice at the time and met them both for an interview about the wonderful work that the Hospice undertake. I immediately loved them both, and was welcomed into their family wholeheartedly, enjoying a memorable weekend away with them all in Blackpool.

Despite having three young sons at the time, Tricia was also Jennie’s carer until Jennie sadly passed awayin November 2012, aged 31. It just wasn’t fair. Life just isn’t. Tricia had lost, not just her sister, but also her best friend and over the  last few years found solace, comfort and joy in focusing on and raising her boys, Denion Joe, (26), Owen Lee Bradley, (23) and Liam George, also nicknamed LG, (13) until the worst thing you can imagine happened.

The unthinkable.
The unimaginable.
The loss of a child.
The shock death of her beloved son Liam.

“We’re not 100% sure what did happen…” says Tricia. “I thought I’d heard him get up that morning, he’d made an appointment to get his phone fixed that day,” says Tricia. “It got to about half 12 so I went to see what he was doing about his phone and found him crouched down on the floor, almost as if he was hiding from me, but he wasn’t – I knew straight away.

“It’s been hell from then on…” After agonising months of waiting and attending the inquest into Liam’s death the coroner’s report was returned as inconclusive. “I just kept wishing he had got run over or something like that,” says Tricia. “You can make sense of that – it helps you process it.” The verdict has given Tricia some comfort, knowing that Liam’s death was not intentional.

“We don’t know and we will never know, that’s the difficult thing. It’s almost a year now since he left,” says Tricia in a hushed tone, “it was the 27th November, his funeral was on my birthday. Everyone wore pink – it was the most beautiful funeral. I managed to keep my emotions under control because I knew if I didn’t, I would have broken down completely, and I had to be strong.”

Tricia’s family and friends rallied around to fundraise for his funeral, including his school who had a ‘Wear Pink for Liam Day’, also dedicating a bench and tree to him. All in all, collectively, £9,000 was raised towards the cost of the funeral. “We drove past the school and all the pupils were on the street watching, crying their eyes out,” remembers Tricia. “I’ve got some of the most beautiful messages from his friends.”

A natural born-communicator Liam had an abundance of pals, old and young. “He had made friends with a girl who was non-verbal, and would walk her home from school every day. Teachers used to tell me how happy they were that they had bonded and had become friends,” smiles Tricia. “He would always stick up for other people. Even if he felt uncomfortable, he’d always be the first one to stand up for anyone being mistreated. The teachers loved him too, he was so helpful, and a regular face in the school shows and choirs. I was so happy and proud of him, and now he’s gone. It’s still so hard to believe.”

“When he was younger he’d never wear boys’ clothes, he just wanted to wear his tutu everywhere. He was very flamboyant,” grins Tricia. “He was amazing at making stuff, he used to make dresses out of newspapers. He loved his music, and dancing to Lady Gaga. He was so creative and unique, as he said in his own words he was ‘very gay’. As he got older, he got more comfortable in himself. One day he’d want to be an air host then the next, a drag queen, all different things,” says Tricia. “He was fearless.”

Tricia’s closest friend and owner of Liam’s Place, Kell Brand also recalls the incredible memories they spent together. “Liam was my best mate. Any parties or events I’d do he’d used to come and help out. He was like an old man, wise beyond his years,” she grins. “He was the most beautiful soul you could ever meet. He used to stay over at my house, and he’d tell me I smelt like meat and potato pie!” She laughs. “He was brilliant, he was something else. It’s so sad that he’s no longer here…”

It was when they were scattering Liam’s ashes that Kell approached Tricia about an idea she’d had. “I asked Tricia how she would feel about naming the cafe after Liam, incorporating a sunflower into the logo, because we all love sunflowers.”

Kell’s business had been previously named The Krafty Cow – a café combined with craft activities, a place where Liam would be a regular face, helping out and entertaining the customers. “At work he’d wear a natty yellow T-shirt with dungarees, and would assist at festival craft stalls, he had his own little uniform,” smiles Kell. “He was a real charmer, and would be found grinning at the end of a working day, saying, ‘I’ve made her loads of money!’

“On one occasion he ran his own slime-making stall and he was only 10! He was so clever, such an amazing soul. Anyone that met him fell in love with him.” Liam’s bond with his mum was evident to all who knew them, an incredibly talented artist, singer, dancer and poet he would often display his love for his mum by creating pictures or writing notes.

“It was when they were scattering Liam’s ashes that Kell approached Tricia about an idea she’d had.”

“He used to write me stuff every day,” smiles Tricia. “I love sunflowers, and he used to draw them for me, I mean he could draw.” Hanging in pride of place on the wall in Liam’s Place is a tribute to Tricia he created, it shows gutsy Tricia in the ‘buff ’ casually smoking a cigarette, surrounded by sunflowers. “He even managed include my stretch marks!” remarks Tricia.

Since Liam’s death, Tricia has been unable to work, and has had no support from her previous employers of seven years. It was her middle son Owen who continued to help provide for the family. “Owen went back to work in January, which really helped – he’s amazing,” smiles Tricia.

Reminiscent of a modern-day Elsie Tanner, Tricia is most definitely a force to be reckoned with – strong, honest and certainly feisty, but how is she coping almost a year on? “By just breathing,” she replies. “I just have to take each minute as it comes. I must be very strong. I have lots of flashbacks, but I never have the ‘what ifs’. Sometimes I get really bad. His room hasn’t been touched. I go in if I can, but… his school bag is still there, and his tie. It’s like being in a film. But visiting the headstone I do sometimes find it comforting, but then also I don’t. It’s bittersweet. It can be consoling, but it’s equally just as awful.

“I do find I’m more introverted than before. I prefer to be at home. I have Denian and Owen to think about as well, so I’ve got to get up and get on. When I discovered Liam, Owen was with me at the time and called the ambulance, he’s still having flashbacks” says Tricia.

“My eldest son, Denian began having panic attacks, but thankfully, he’s improving now. When I see Denian and Owen asleep I always check them to see if they’re not dead.”

There’s a real strength in the extraordinary friendship that Kell and Tricia have forged after meeting at a festival nine years ago. “We just ‘hit it off ’, smiles Tricia, “we just clicked. Our children have the same names, our birthdays are three days apart and we both love sunflowers! We’ve not been apart ever since. Having Kell on my side while this is going on is brilliant.

“She’s been wonderful,” adds Tricia. “We also have the same dirty personality,” chuckles Kell, “so we don’t have to worry about offending each other – anything rude we’ll just say it out loud. Sometimes I’ll ring Tricia and she’ll say ‘I don’t want to speak to anyone today’ – and I get it.”

Life can be so cruel. There is no rhyme or reason, and at times there are no words that can be spoken to help make sense of losing Liam, a rainbow of light – a star that shone so brightly and a star that will continue to sparkle and light-up the lives in the memories of those who loved him.

“I know how happy he was, and he knew how much he was loved,” says Tricia, and like Liam, she too must remember that she is very much loved. After all love NEVER dies…

 

NorthernLife Nov/Dec 22