Legal Considerations for Parents Going Through a Breakup

Breakups can be complicated at the best of times, but for parents, the stakes are often higher. A separation doesn’t just mean restructuring personal lives – it also means making thoughtful, sometimes difficult decisions about children’s living arrangements, routines and long-term care. When tensions are high, it can be hard to think practically about legal steps, but understanding how the law works can help parents stay focused on what matters most: their child’s welfare.

This feature outlines the core legal issues parents in England and Wales should consider during a separation. It covers parental responsibility, child arrangements, financial duties and when legal support might be needed.

Understanding parental responsibility

In legal terms, parental responsibility refers to the authority to make significant decisions about a child’s life. This includes their education, medical treatment, religious upbringing and where they live. Without it, a parent has no legal right to be involved in these decisions, even if they have a strong emotional bond with their child or play an active day-to-day role in their care.

In England and Wales, birth mothers automatically have parental responsibility from birth. Fathers also have it if they were married to the mother at the time of the child’s birth or if they are named on the child’s birth certificate (for children born after 1 December 2003 in England and Wales). Unmarried fathers who are not on the birth certificate will not have parental responsibility unless they obtain it through agreement with the mother or by applying to the court.

This distinction can become relevant quickly after a breakup. For example, a parent who lacks parental responsibility may not be consulted about school changes, medical treatment or relocation. It’s advisable for any parent in this position to formally secure their status as soon as possible to avoid being left out of important decisions.

Deciding where the child lives

 

One of the most immediate concerns after a separation is deciding where the child will live and with whom they will live. In many cases, parents are able to agree on an informal arrangement. Where that’s possible, setting out the details in a written parenting plan can help prevent misunderstandings later. A parenting plan might include:

• Where the child will live during the week.
• When and how will they spend time with the other parent?
• Who will take the lead on school runs or medical appointments?
• Arrangements for holidays, birthdays and special occasions.

If no agreement can be reached, either parent can apply for a Child Arrangements Order through the family court. This is a legal order that sets out who the child will live with and when they will see the other parent. The court does not automatically favour mothers or fathers. Instead, decisions are based on what best supports the child’s emotional, physical and educational needs.

In some cases, the court may also involve the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service to carry out safeguarding checks and offer a recommendation based on the child’s best interests. This might include input from schools, doctors or the child themselves if they are old enough to express a view.

Shared care and contact

Shared care does not always mean equal time. In some cases, one parent may have the child most of the time, with the other parent having regular overnight visits or contact at weekends and during holidays. In other situations, parents may adopt a more evenly split schedule.

Where there are concerns about one parent’s behaviour – for example, if there’s a history of domestic abuse or substance misuse – the court may decide that contact should be supervised or limited. In rare cases, contact may be denied altogether, but only where it is judged to be necessary to protect the child’s welfare.

Dealing with disagreements

If disagreements arise around specific decisions, such as what school a child should attend or whether they can be taken abroad, parents can apply for a Specific Issue Order. This gives the court the authority to make a binding decision on that one matter.

Alternatively, a Prohibited Steps Order can be used to prevent the other parent from taking a particular action, such as changing the child’s surname or relocating them without consent.

Before applying to court, most parents are expected to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. This is a preliminary meeting to see whether mediation could help resolve the issue outside the court. If mediation isn’t suitable or fails to resolve the dispute, the case can move forward to the family court.

Financial support and practical responsibilities

Children are entitled to financial support from both parents, regardless of where they live. If an agreement cannot be reached informally, the Child Maintenance Service can calculate and enforce payments based on the paying parent’s income and how often the child stays overnight with them.

Financial arrangements might also include contributions to childcare costs, school uniforms, or extracurricular activities. Although these may fall outside the CMS’s scope, they can be agreed upon privately or factored into wider legal negotiations where appropriate.

Long-term implications

For many parents, separation is not just about immediate arrangements. It may also raise questions about future decision-making, long-distance moves or the involvement of new partners or step-parents in the child’s life.

Step-parents do not automatically gain parental responsibility, even if they live with and care for the child. If they wish to have a formal role in decision-making, they may need to apply to the court or reach a formal agreement with both biological parents. In blended families, setting clear boundaries and roles early can help reduce the risk of confusion or disagreement later on.

When to seek legal advice

Not every separation needs to involve solicitors, but where there are legal uncertainties, unresolved disputes, or potential court involvement, professional advice can make a meaningful difference. A family law solicitor can explain your rights clearly, help with formal applications and represent your interests if the matter goes before a judge.