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Home Instead: OLD AGE IS CANCELLED!

by Laura Storey

We chat to Alistair Wrenn and his family about living with early-onset dementia...

Forget everything you thought you knew about ageing—old age is officially cancelled! Today, older people are rewriting the narrative, proving that growing older or receiving a diagnosis is merely the start of an exciting new chapter, not the end of the story.

New research from Home Instead reveals that retirement as we know it is undergoing a revolution. The outdated stereotype of older adults slowing down has been debunked, with many retirees leading active, vibrant lives that would be the envy of people half their age.

This project sought to discover what older age in 2024 really looks like and concludes one of the most comprehensive studies of its kind ever undertaken. The study created the ‘New Ageing Index,’ which showed an undimmed appetite for life, especially among the oldest participants. Remarkably, 89% of those aged 75+ believe in an active lifestyle, and 54% of all adults believe that lifespan and health span will significantly improve over the next decade.

While the study reveals how older people value exercise and want to stay physically active as they age, the realities of ageing and the health conditions that come with it can sometimes pose obstacles.

Alistair Wrenn has always valued physical activity. With a busy career as a chartered surveyor, he made the most of his weekends playing rugby and cricket in his younger years before taking up golf in his forties—a sport that soon became a passion. Weekends, lads’ trips, and even holidays were centred around golf.

“Dementia is unique in that after the diagnosis, you’re left to figure out what support is available on your own…”

Two years ago, at just 55, Alistair was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimers. At the time, he was living alone down south in Reading, and as he tried to adapt to his condition, physical activity took a backseat. At the time, his family—sister Emma Wharton and her husband, Neil—lived on-site at the Yorkshire boarding school where they both worked. Six months ago, with his condition progressing, the family decided to move together to the small town of Earby in Lancashire.

The move was a huge transition for the whole family. Emma and Neil now commute to work each day rather than living on-site, and Alistair finds himself hundreds of miles from the place he was brought up and where he had built a life.

Alistair is helped by Home Instead

Alistair, Emma and Neil

“Unfortunately, the move meant that he is living in an area that he doesn’t know, without an immediate social group,” Emma explains, noting the limited opportunities for Alistair to engage in the hobbies he used to love.

This prompted Emma to discover what resources were available in the area. “Dementia is unique in that after the diagnosis, you’re left to figure out what support is available on your own,” she explains. “There’s a lot out there, but it takes effort to find it.”

“We want Alistair to enjoy his life while he can, and hopefully, staying active will help slow the progression of the disease.”

Emma discovered Dementia Forward, a North Yorkshire charity that supports people living with dementia and their families. Alistair decided to attend their support group in Settle and participate in their day trips.

“He’s actually visited more places in the last six months than I have in 30 years living up north,” Emma smiles. “We want Alistair to enjoy his life while he can, and hopefully, staying active will help slow the progression of the disease.”

However, as Emma and Neil prepared to return to work, they decided to seek Home Instead’s services to help Alistair stay active and continue living life to the fullest. With the help of companions Laura and Andrew, Alistair maintains a jam-packed schedule of activities.

Home Instead UK is a national home care company specialising in providing care and companionship in the home for older people, including specialist dementia care.

With its help, Alistair has even revived a once-beloved hobby. Rachel Kershaw from Home Instead explains, “We always strive to match our clients with care professionals who share similar interests.” Luckily for Alistair, Rachel found the perfect golfing companion in care professional Andrew. Every Monday, the two hit the golf course together, followed by lunch.

Playing golf

“We’ve managed to bring golf back into Alistair’s daily routine,” Emma beams.

Tuesdays see Alistair exploring the countryside with Jo, a former colleague of Emma’s who now offers guided walks and Nordic walking sessions in the Yorkshire Dales. “The routes can get a bit tricky,” Alistair admits, with plenty of challenging terrain to conquer in the Dales, but he still enjoys exploring with Jo.

On Wednesdays, another Home Instead care professional, Laura, joins Alistair for some culinary fun. Cooking is another passion of his, and together, they plan a shopping list from a recipe book and prepare two dishes—one for dinner that night and one for Thursday.

Alistair is helped by Home Instead

Cooking dinner

“I’m always up for anything with chillies,” Alistair says with a grin. For Emma and Neil, who both work full-time, coming home to a freshly prepared meal twice a week is a real treat—even if Emma prefers to keep the chillies on the side!

With dinner already prepared, there’s no point staying in on Thursday, so these days are reserved for outings with Craven Away Days, a group run by Dementia Forward for individuals with early-onset dementia. Last week, Alistair enjoyed a trip to Cliffe Castle in Keighley.

Fridays start with another Dementia Forward group session in Settle, followed by walking rugby at the North Ribblesdale Rugby Club in the afternoon. Emma, who works as a teacher, has a sixth-form student who volunteers at the dementia group. He also joins Alistair for the walking rugby sessions, providing both support and companionship.

“It’s nice to have that interaction and be able to build relationships.”

For Emma and Neil, keeping Alistair active is a top priority. “He was always outdoors and on the move. He’s not one for reading or board games,” Emma explains. “I think he’s only read two books in his life!”

“Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit,” Alistair agrees with a grin.

“It’s about keeping him socially engaged,” Emma adds. “It’s so important for him to interact with others, not just us two—it would be pretty boring otherwise!” Emma laughs.

Alistair certainly relishes his activities, from exploring new places to chatting with Andrew and perfecting his golf game. “It’s nice to have that interaction and be able to build relationships,” he explains.

Beyond his weekly routine, the family is planning some exciting outings, including rugby matches, comedy shows, and concerts featuring Paul Weller and Travis—perfect for celebrating Alistair’s love of music.

“The power of music is fantastic,” Rachel explains. “There’s quite a lot of research about the benefits of music therapy in dementia. When I worked in care homes, people who had advanced dementia or Alzheimer’s and who didn’t have much language or many skills left could sing songs word for word. It’s absolutely fantastic.”

In Reading, Alistair participated in a group called Young People with Dementia, which had a choir, but he decided against joining. “He liked to sing, but in the privacy of his own bedroom or in the garage!” Emma laughs. Plus, the music was a little too classical for Alistair, who finds his vibe in 90s rock.

With Andrew and Laura’s consistent visits, Alistair benefits from both stability and companionship, with familiar faces who can quickly notice if anything’s amiss.

Out and about

“It allows us to understand any changes that might be happening,” Rachel explains. “If you had different people coming in daily, they wouldn’t notice those small changes. If anything changes with Alistair’s well-being or physical health, we’ve already built up that relationship, and our care can adapt to meet Alistair’s needs as they change.”

As Emma and Neil return to work, knowing that Alistair has a full and engaging schedule brings them a great sense of peace. They don’t have to worry about him feeling isolated or bored while they’re away, as his days are filled with meaningful activities that keep him physically active and mentally stimulated.

Alistair is thriving, maintaining his independence, and continuing to enjoy life to the fullest despite his diagnosis.

“It means that no matter what’s going on with us and work, Alistair’s routine will continue—which is so important for people with dementia. Everything I read about the condition suggests physical activity is beneficial in slowing its progression,” Emma says.

From golfing and hiking to cooking and attending social groups, Alistair’s routine not only keeps him busy but also ensures a supportive community surrounds him. This consistent engagement gives Emma and Neil the comfort of knowing that Alistair is thriving, maintaining his independence, and continuing to enjoy life to the fullest despite his diagnosis.

“It is important, as we start to age, that we stay active like Alistair is. A diagnosis of any illness or disease shouldn’t limit us. We just need the right support to keep doing the things we enjoy,” Rachel says.

If you or a loved one could benefit from Home Instead’s services, why not give them a call at 03308 285725?

NorthernLife Sep/Oct/Nov 24