Fried Off

Fried Off… | Poetry

by Northern Life

Patricia Preece, Preston

I bought a chip pan in 82
It looked so spick and span
I churned my chips out once a week
And got rid of all my pans.

I used my Tesco club card
To show that I was posh
I didn’t go to Lidl
Their chip pan oil was naff.

To my delight my chips were crisp
And always golden brown
Had I not put the right oil in
My chips would let me down.

Until one day the light went out
In the middle of the cooking
My chips were full of fat and grease
It was so off-putting.

We had a good relationship
My little chip pan and me
But now it’s time to bin it
I’m sure you will agree.

But even from the bin I hear
“Save me, save me, Pat.”
I’m sorry little chip pan
You’re going to be recycled and that’s that!