Why Can’t a Man Be More Like a Woman

Gillie Threadgold, Skipton

Why can’t a man be more like a woman?
Why can’t they cope with ten jobs at one time?
Why can’t they grasp quite simple concepts
Like ‘his goods we share’ but ‘what’s mine is mine’?
Why when ‘we’ drive do they sit with their eyes shut
Clenching their fists and trying to get out
And why when we make a small dent in ‘their’ bumper
Can’t they be calm? There’s no need to shout!
When they come shopping why can’t they enjoy it?
It’s fun trying on clothes for hours at a time
Why do they sulk and start getting moody
And treat our excursions as some sort of crime?
Why do men faint at the sight of a needle?
Or limp for a week when they stub their big toe?
A small dose of ‘flu and they think they’re dying
Come on, men, be brave and put on a show!
Why do they groan when we turn off the football
And ask them to whisper sweet nothings instead
Why can’t they tell us how much they need us?
They manage to talk when they want to be fed.
So come on you males, be more like us females
Don’t treat us as though we’re a nasty disease
Deep down you know we’re your perfect companions
Simple, straightforward and so easy to please.